Most Bruneians Opt to Marry Late

More and more Bruneians, especially women, are now rather reluctant to tie the knot in their youth.

Keen to improve their economy and knowledge first in this 21st century, they are found to marry earliest in their late 20s.

Family law expert Datin Dr Hjh Sa`adiah making this observation said that the tender ages between 15 to 19 is certainly not popular here as an age of `settling down`. It has moved to the late twenties. It`s now between the ages of 25 to 29 that men and women of Brunei start looking at matrimony.

Their priorities in life have changed and youngsters seek a firm footing especially in the economic and education areas before thinking of getting married.

Late marriage has become an accepted norm. Statistics revealed that five couples below the age of 15 years married in 2005 with 286 couples aged between 15-19 years old. However, the most popular age for marriage has proven to be between 25-29 years with 1,369 couples, compared to 20-24 years old of which 1,225 couples tied the knot. 528 couples between the ages of 30-34 years old also entered matrimony.

"It cannot be denied that economy, family pressure, culture and education have influenced teenagers to settle early," said Datin Dr Hjh Sa`adiah, family law expert and a senior lecturer at the Academy of Brunei Studies, Universiti Brunei Darussalam to the Weekend.

She added families facing economic hardships especially with many dependents would pressure their children to get married early with the hope that the parents face a lesser burden.

For some teenagers hailing from broken families, early marriage seems to be the ideal way to get out of the pressure of coping alone.

Meanwhile on the cultural front, it is undeniable that a community, which thinks highly of tradition, may think, even with the highest academic qualifications, a woman belongs in the kitchen. Those with such perceptions also let their woman folk marry early.

Parents would try to find a life partner for their daughter on reaching adulthood to avoid being called old maids, besides the perception of some parents wanting their children to get married early to start their own family and to eagerly await the birth of their grandchildren.

Parents would also be proud if more children are born. This occurs in a community that still highly regards old tradition and influence of the family`s educational background.

Education is considered a basic factor that gives rise to other factors. Low educational background will lead teenagers into needing to settle down earlier than expected.

This is further mooted by what has been inherited by their parents for generations. When parents settle down early, it affects their children. By not being aware of the challenges faced by married couples, teenagers view marriage as the right pathway for them.

This should not be a problem for those with a sound and firm financial background. The implication would be great and obvious for teenagers who are not with early impulsive marriages leading them to divorce, misunderstandings, quarrels and so on.

Religion is crucial as a platform in building a family. Parents who emphasise religion as a way of life, are found to support early matrimony for their offspring to avoid complicated relationships or even incest.

Datin Dr Hjh Saadiah sees early marriages having two big implications. "In a positive way, it could avoid them from being dragged to dire consequences as they would try more to uphold faith, morals and the good name of the family, as well as train to be responsible."

"On the negative side, early marriages may create disharmony in the family and break up the union of young married couples who are not ready to shoulder the responsibility that comes with marriage. It would give an impact on their mental preparation, economy and environment, and consequently lead to the disintegration of family," she said.

Asked of the stigma among the Malay community for sinister jibes like `old maid`, she said in this modern community, such claims are taken less seriously as society nowadays emphasises more on development, education and career that could guarantee the future of the woman until some consider marriage as less important.

Modernisation shapes the mind and view of the woman from thinking about marriage, especially if the life partner does not meet the criteria she require.

Source: www.brunei–online.com (15 Mei 2007)
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